My Auschwitz Experience

Halt! Stop!
(in front of electric fence)

“Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed....Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never.” ― Elie Wiesel, Night

I wanted to write this blog and say so much right after we got back to campus on Saturday... But I just didn't have the words. I'm still not sure I do. But I feel after leaving that I either have to tell everything, or say nothing. So this one is going to be a long one. This blog isn't going to be the same as the last I have done. With the last few blogs I have made witty comments and had a generally good time talking about my experiences while I've been here in Europe. However this last week I had the opportunity to tour the concentration and death camps of Auschwitz and Birkenau. Going throughout your day you don't know when you will have a life changing experience. You can't possibly have any idea of how things will impact you. But when I say that this was a life changing experience, I fully mean it.

Walking the same roads the
prisoners once did

Since high school I have wanted to tour these concentration camps. Thanks to my sophomore english teacher having us read "Night" by Elie Wiesel. So knowing that during my time here I would get to go and have this experience I was thrilled to say the least. However, walking off the bus I immediately felt my body become pounds heavier. The grey sky and rain added to the solemness of the area and my mood changed in a matter of seconds. Walking through the gates we had to pass through metal detectors. This just added to the tenseness of the area.

Walking to the "dormitories", our tour guide told us stories of how every morning and night the prisoners of Auschwitz had to march to the sound of music in order for the guards to count them. Sometimes this took hours. All I could think of as we walked to the first building was, "Someone died here, some one was tortured here, someone was shot there." It was a rather unsettling walk to say the least.

“Then came the march past the victims. The two men were no longer alive. Their tongues were hanging out, swollen and bluish. But the third rope was still moving: the child, too light, was still breathing... And so he remained for more than half an hour, lingering between life and death, writhing before our eyes.And we were forced to look at him at close range. He was still alive when I passed him. His tongue was still red, his eyes not yet extinguished. Behind me, I heard the same man asking: "For God's sake, where is God?"And from within me, I heard a voice answer: "Where is He? This is where--hanging here from this gallows..." That night, the soup tasted of corpses.” ― Elie Wiesel, Night

All of the buildings in which we went into were dormitories which had been turned into memorials for the fallen victims. In the first building on the first wall as you walk in is a quote saying "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Turning into the next few rooms were pictures taken by the Germans and by the prisoners were hanging on the wall, depictions of the selection process haunted the halls and rooms. (Though this happened more often in Berkenau than Auschwitz) During this process, those whom were deemed unfit to work were sent to the gas chambers and told they were going to be sanitized (in order to keep the prisoners calm). The "lucky ones" were sent in the opposite direction to be registered.

Shoes taken from the prisoners
(not even half of them are shown)

Just of few of the prisoners brief cases

The second and third buildings that we went to were filled with a collection of pictures of the prisoners which had been held there, as well as items taken from the prisoners upon arrival in Auschwitz and Birkenau. One of the most haunting rooms, which we were not allowed to take pictures in, was filled with human hair shaved from the men and women killed in the gas chambers. This was more than an emotional tear jerker. Thousands of pounds of hair filled the room... Tears were shed all around and silence fell upon our group. No one had words for what we were seeing... and this was just the beginning. Moving out of the room we entered another and another walking through a total of 6 rooms, each containing different things taken upon arrival. One was filled with glasses and cloths, another with shoes, a third contained suit cases all with names written on them. The fourth contained pots and bowls, the fifth prosthetics, and lastly contained thousands of combs. With each room the faces of my classmates drooped further and further.

The wall memorial

We continued on. Only to come to yet another dormitory. This one being preserved to show exactly how the prisoners of Auschwitz lived. This was a special dormitory though. It was where those considered to be problems were kept, for execution and/or torture. Beds of hay lay on the floor, which our tour guy informed us were filled with lice. We walked then past rooms filled with wooden bunk beds stalked 3 beds high. Then it got more emotional yet. Our tour guide informed us that the washrooms which followed were used for the executions. The prisoners were to strip and then be led out of the door to a wall where they would then be executed. The wall was destroyed after Auschwitz was taken over, however it had been rebuilt only a few years after as a memorial.

Crematorium 1 Gas Chamber

The next room we saw was the most emotional. We had the opportunity to walk through Auschwitz Crematorium number 1. Here the prisoners were corralled and gassed. The once smooth stone walls were now covered in claw marks and scratches from the last remaining strength that it's victims could muster trying to escape. The room had an extreme heaviness to it, and even breathing was hard. I got out as quickly as I could, only to walk into the furnace room in which the bodies of Auschwitz's victims were burnt.  The thought of all of those killed and burnt here was enough of a psychological scar, let alone trying to imagine how someone could carry out such an order.

Entrance to Crematorium 1

Thankfully our tour was over. Not that we even got to tour all of Auschwitz. But we boarded our bus and headed for Auschwitz 2, also known as Berkenau. This one being even significantly worse considering it was just a concentration camp, but a Nazi death camp. Getting off the bus I immediately felt nauseas and my once excitement to learn about this historical place had now completely ceased to exist. As we walk around it was a lot larger than I had imagined it would be. Not that I would really know, since I barely looked up from the ground. Which also didn't seem to help much considering all I could think of was all of the prisoners walking across the mud and broken cobblestone roads to their, more than likely, deaths.

An example of the beds

Remains of Crematorium 3, there were
5

We toured a lot less in Berkenau than we did in Auschwitz. Mostly because a good majority of it had been destroyed when the Germans fled. We did however see the platforms in which the selection process was conducted, Crematorium 3, and a preserved "cabin" in which the prisoners were held. Dirt floors and wooden bunk beds, with no heating, and no ventilation... Complaining about not having wifi seems like a very obsolete thing now... I have definitely come to have a better respect for the world from this trip. One that I honestly cannot express. No I would never go back. However I won't ever forget the experience I had in Poland.

So I end with one more quote from "Night" because it seems all too important to not include.

“For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and for the living. He has no right to deprive future generations of a past that belongs to our collective memory. To forget would be not only dangerous but offensive; to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.” ― Elie Wiesel, Night